We Dig Our Models with Brains the Size of Models: Sox-Mariners Gamer VIII

The Sox' play during the summer months has conjured up memories of an obscure lyric from one of the unsung bands of the late 80's -- Hull, England's The Housemartins.  Paul Heaton, the lead singer of that band (and current LV for The Beautiful South), seemed to be a kindred spirit, his songs dripping with a humorous kind of cynicism.  The lyric comes from a song called "The Light is Always Green" (penned in 1987, it definitely could have been the theme song for the Wendell Kim era), a melodiously melancholy song about mass culture and the thinness of it all.  Our Sox, as the lyric describes, have been playing like models with brains the size of models: it's as if they believe they can waltz down the runway and into the playoffs, no extra thought or dedication to the intricacies of the game needed.  They are playing superficial, unthoughtful baseball, and their record over the last two months reflects that disinterest. We're tired of it, and, unlike the songs of the long-since dismantled Housemartins, it doesn't put a sly smile on our face.  We don't, as the song says, dig.

Discuss the game here.

Red Sox
Pedroia 4
Youkilis 3
Ortiz D
Ramirez 7
Lowell 5
Varitek 2
Drew 9
Crisp 8
Lugo 6

Matsuzaka 1

Mariners
Suzuki 8
Vidro D
Guillen 9
Ibanez 7
Beltre 5
Broussard 3
Johjima 2
Lopez (Jose) 4
Betancourt 6

Washburn 1

Comments

[YF]

Um, the Housemartins???

[SF]

Yep, you got a problem with that?

[YF]

No problems. Speaking of no problems, I know you've been voicing a lot of concern about the Sox ability to hold off the Yanks, but I think with Beckett and Matsuzaka pitching the way they have lately, with that bullpen back there to hold things down, and with Manny, Papi, and Youk hitting.....that's a lot of ground to make up. Not impossible, but real tough. cleveland and detroit (and seattle), though, i think have some things to worry about.

[SF]

One of Cleveland or Detroit is dead meat, I agree. But I won't stand for your attempts at reverse-jinxing my beloved squad, so I am calling you on this one.

[Hudson]

The Yankees have scored 66 runs in their last six games. Scary.

[SF]

Kevin Kennedy just said the Yankees were "sneaking into the Wild Card race". They way they are playing, I'd say they are doing the exact opposite of "sneaking", they're STOMPING their way into the race.

[Hudson]

On the other hand, the Yankees have also *allowed* an average of more than 6 runs per game over the same period. It'll be interesting to see what happens when they run into some better pitching and hitting come mid-August.

[Hudson]

(Sorry, that's more like a bit over 5 runs per game, not 6, now that I recompute the scores.)

[SF]

I think the Yankees are 37-20 in their last 57 games. Compare that to the Sox. This is not a team sneaking up on anyone -- they are rolling their way to a postseason slot. They are playing great, at least at the plate. They are built to overcome mediocre pitching, if that's what they end up getting (it's what they've gotten, for the most part). Five runs allowed to them is like 7 or 8 to everyone else, it's like Michael Jordan wagering $50K on a golf match, the money/runs mean less to them. This is a team to be very nervous about; they WILL make the playoffs, I am almost certain of that. At that point, it's a crapshoot.

[attackgerbil]

Little man is with grandma/pa tonight. After ms gerbil gets off her shift, it's time for some housemartinis.

[Hudson]

The baserunning has been so atrocious lately, it almost makes one pine for the Dale Sveum ("rhymes with shame") era.

Almost.

[Hudson]

Youks reaches in the 1st but is stranded... DiceK has set down the 1st two in the bottom half.

[TJ]

Bonds homered :@

[Hudson]

Sox go quickly in the top of the 2nd, 0-0.

Daisuke gives up a gopher ball to Beltre, 1-0 Mariners.

[Hudson]

Lugo reaches on an infield single, but it's erased by a DP. Still 1-0 Seattle going to the bottom of the 3rd.

[Hudson]

The footage of Hank Aaron passing Ruth is some of the most moving film on earth. Bonds isn't half the hero that Aaron was, and will remain -- I hope.

[chrismarz]

'...And the heels they always showed to us were clean, clean, clean.' I almost forgot abou those guys even though they spawned the Beautiful South and Fatboy Slim. Only two albums, what a shame.

[Rob]

Sox up 2-1 on Varitek double

[attackgerbil]

> Bonds isn't half the hero that Aaron was

I like where you were going, Hudson, and I will extend your thought to say that Bonds isn't _any_ kind of hero. He's a phenomenal athlete and baseball player, but the rank of hero won't be joined by the likes of Bonds, or ARod, or anyone of the current pantheon of baseball greats. What Aaron, Robinson, Flood, O'Neil and men of that caliber faced, yes, those men can each be called a hero without a sideways glance. To use the word "hero" in any sense with today's ballers is a misuse of the word.

[Rob]

Sox up 3-1 on Papi RBI single.

[Hudson]

Sox get another run in on a single by Youks, a single by Papi, and a wild throw by Guillen to third. 3-1 Sox, top of the 6th, no outs, Ortiz at 3rd.

[Rob]

Ramirez doubles in Papi

4-1

[Hudson]

And now a Manny double brings Papi home, 4-1, one out.

[Hudson]

That was a picturesque swing by Mr. Ramirez.

[Hudson]

Tek takes a pitch for a long ride but Ichiro tracks it down by the wall.

Drew singles but Manny is held at 3rd as Guillen whips the ball in. Runners at the corner with two down.

[Hudson]

Crisp ends the inning, 6-4, 4-1 Sox entering the bottom of the 6th.

[BirdmanofVt]

I'm just glad to hear that Drew singled... He's cold.

[BirdmanofVt]

Beltre has a fat head... Steroids.

[Hudson]

Runners on 1st and 2nd for Seattle with no outs as DiceK hits and walks the first two he faces in the bottom of the 6th.

[Ayuh - SF]

Hey, Birdman- nice to see a fellow Vermonter here.

[BirdmanofVt]

Where do you live Ayuh?

[Ayuh - SF]

I'm in Burlington, Birdman

[BirdmanofVt]

I'm more south... I'm in South Burlington.

[BirdmanofVt]

Ayuh, these commercials up here on NESN kill me.

[Ayuh - SF]

Nice to see Dice-K get out of that inning. We're now approaching the Oki/Gagne/Paps zone.

[Josh]

would be nice if tito actually decides to use the right people in the bullpen tonight

[Hudson]

Still 4-1 going to the bottom of the 7th. I assume we'll see DiceK again with Oki/Gagne warming...

[Hudson]

Leadoff homer from Betancourt makes it 4-2. Oy.

[Josh]

did you see manny jump?

obviously futile, but still very out of character

[Josh]

and where are oki and eric? remind me why we traded for him?

[TJ]

cant use all 3 relievers every nite. Daisuke was going along fine so try getting 7 innings from him and u can save a reliever tonite.

[Josh]

right, but one of them could have been used last night instead of the timlin disaster.

[Hudson]

DiceK gets out of it with his 4th K of Guillen. 4-2, going to the 8th.

[Hudson]

>>>did you see manny jump?

Yeah, that was pretty hilarious. He is full of pep tonight, even scored all the way from 1st...

[Ayuh - SF]

I don't think we'll see all three of those used in a single game until the playoffs.

I think the Gagne trade was purely for post-season; once the playoffs roll around, they'll be able to use 2 out of 3 of them for every single game.

[Josh]

lowell doubles. as always.

[Josh]

ayuh, agree ...

but still weird to see gagne now warming up after oki was already up ... implies that we won't see paps tonight (who is rested)

[Josh]

ayuh, agree ...

but still weird to see gagne now warming up after oki was already up ... implies that we won't see paps tonight (who is rested)

[Hudson]

Lowell doubles, one out, Tek batting.

[Hudson]

And Tek Ks. 2 gone.

[Hudson]

Now Drew Ks, Lowell stranded, bottom of the 8th with a 2-run cushion.

Nails, prepare to be bitten.

[Hudson]

Gagne in.

(What's with the Cleveland announcers and dreadlocks? They've been complaining about them all night. They act as if they've never seen them before.)

Gagne Ks Ibañez, 1 out.

[Hudson]

Gagne may have to become known as "el poco Guapo."

[Ayuh - SF]

Nice to see a fellow French-Canadian with the Sox.

Lancez des prise, mon ami!

[Josh]

paps on the way after all. no oki, i guess.

[Devine]

Come on, Canadian!

Stolen base.

Then a single. Damn it! 4-3.

[Ayuh - SF]

Merde

[BirdmanofVt]

Hudson, explain "el poco Guapo" por favor. Gagne's change up not working...

[Hudson]

Long single to left makes it 4-3.

Gagne hasn't exactly been a stopper for us so far.

[Devine]

Double. Two runners in scoring position. Crowd is going nuts, relatively..

[Josh]

wow. respect for manny saves a run.

[BirdmanofVt]

I wonder how well Farrel knows Gagne to give him an ass tap.

[Hudson]

(Poco: Like the original El Guapo, but somewhat littler.)

Now Gagne's got runners on 2nd and 3rd, Betancourt batting. Oh man.

[Ayuh - SF]

Jesus. Monsieur Gagne has all of a sudden turned into a big stinking pile of *merde*.

[Devine]

Okaaaaay. Papelbon is just gonna have to be Papelbon.

How 'bout 2 runs?

[Hudson]

Phewwww. Inning over, no further damage. Sox need insurance.

[Ayuh - SF]

Hudson- Gagne's French, so a Spanish nickname wouldn't really fit. I'll have to ask my Dad (who's fluent in French) what a catchy French phrase is for "fat pantload"

[BirdmanofVt]

I guess poco means small. Rich Garces was pegged El Guapo by his team mates due to his resemblance to El Guapo in "Three Amigos."

[TJ]

el guapo means The lady's man

[Josh]

grosse charge de culotte

[Devine]

Lugo in scoring position with 1 out on the double to left.

[Devine]

I think it means "the handsome man" or "the fat man" depending on context. Could have other connotations in Spanish I'm not aware of, though.

[BirdmanofVt]

Actually el guapo means the handsome one... an el guapo could be gay, and there would nothing wrong with that.

[Devine]

Oh no, I'm thinking of "gordo" when I think of "fat man". It does mean "handsome" or "ladies' man" or "troublemaker" according to a dictionary I just looked at.

Youk strikes out. 1-run lead for Paps.

[Devine]

Twice there have been 1-out doubles in the last two innings, and neither have scored. Very annoying.

[rootbeerfloat]

Devine - all this time, I've had el gordo and el guapo confused too!

[Devine]

Sooooo nervous. Would like to see them win at Safeco.

[Devine]

Awesome, rbf. Let our ignorance of Spanish shine!

Here we go: Papelbon vs. Ichiro.

Strike one.

[Devine]

Strike two on the foul.

Was that not a swing? Guess not. Timeout maybe? (I have no audio.)

Whatever, that was certainly strike three swinging.

2 more.

[sf rod]

paps sits down ichiro in impressive fashion.

[sf rod]

please let me go to the bar happy.

[Devine]

Vidro badly fooled, swings at a pitch in the dirt for strike one. Foul ball, strike two. Fouls off another one.

In the dirt, no swing. 1-2.

Strike three.

One more.

[Hudson]

Paps is one out away...

13 Mariner Ks tonight.

[rootbeerfloat]

Any of you breathing? No one here is.

[Devine]

Strike one swinging to Guillen. Then a ball outside. Then another outside. 2-1.

Mariners fans have settled down a bit (visually, anyway).

Another outside on a questionable check swing. 3-1. Very close on the replay of the swing. Strike two swinging. Full count.

Here comes the big one.

[Devine]

Popped up foul, directly backward.

Walk.

[Hudson]

2 Ks by Paps, then a walk (with a very fast pinch-runner coming in).

Finish it!

[Devine]

Strike one swinging Ibanez. Stolen base on ball 1. Good play Pedroia to not let it get into center off Lugo's glove. God damn.

[Hudson]

Jones steals. A single would tie it.

[Devine]

Ball 2 in the dirt.

3-1. Crap. Don't give in, Jonathan. Walk.

[Devine]

Stupid drama. Can we get a nubber to the pitcher on the first pitch here?

Beltre...pops up to Varitek! It works! Ballgame!

[sf rod]

game.

[Hudson]

Base on balls.

Beltre batting.

Jeezusss.

[Josh]

is it just me, or are many of paps's saves getting more tenuious and not lights out the way they should be?

[Hudson]

Thank goodness.

Nails gone.

[pale blue eyes]

Wow ...

I second Paul's emotion: how about a nice easy blowout tomorrow! We need it ...

[Devine]

There's been some drama. Paps has his strong stretches and his not-quite-so-overwhelming ones, but two blown saves at the beginning of August is nice.

[Devine]

I suppose "as of the beginning of August" instead of "AT the beginning..." would be more appropriate.

[Hudson]

Boston's magic number is 47, with 52 games left to play.

Assuming my math is correct, if the Yankees play .700 ball for the rest of the year (which would be quite a feat, but they're tearing it up right now), the Sox would have to play .615 ball, i.e. slightly better than 3 out of every five games.

[Hudson]

Actually, after tonight's win Boston's magic number is 46, but the calculation is basically the same.

The big question marks for me are (a) whether New York can sustain this assault once they run up against the Indians, Chicago and the Angels in mid-to-late August, and (b) whether Schilling comes back 100%.

If he does, I don't see the Sox struggling to attain a .600 record. If not, there could be a lot of tense games at the end of the season, even with a 7-game lead.