Dear Mr. Fantasy

I can't tell if the St. Paul Pioneer Press sports columnist Bob Sansevere is a world-class absurdist whose true calling is writing for The Onion or just out of his league.

Read this column and let me know what you think.

Comments

[Vic SF]

Maybe he is channeling George Costanza

[AndrewYF]

I love Fantasy baseball.

[sam-YF]

The best part about this "article" by far is that Carlos Silva is a free agent. Im not positive but Im pretty sure this was written by a high school sophomore.

[sam-YF]

Also, in that trade I feel the twins would really be getting screwed. I think the sox should at least have the decency to throw in Manny (plus his full salary) to even it up.

[Nick-YF]

I like the way this guy thinks!

[Mike YF]

I don't think he's that crazy. It's one player too many and he tries to get away with it via Silva (a young league average pitcher). But consider this:

Santana and Nathan for Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lester, and Buchholz.

Now consider what the Sox are giving up versus what they're getting. Santana needs no description. Nathan is easily the second best reliever in the game behind Paps. Putting him behind Paps with Santana in the rotation would be sheer madness. And the only guy the only they'd have to get for 2008 is a 2B with Crisp the CF.

There's a fine line between genius and madness. Not surprisingly, Papelbon is that line.

[Atheose]

Hey Mike YF, Joe Nathan is a closer right? I'm not sure I want to try the "let's turn a closer into a set-up man!" experiment again. ;-)

When it boils down to it, you're trading Santana for Ellsbury, Pedroia and Buchholz (if you assume that you're swapping Lester for Silva and Nathan for Papelbon, both of which are downgrades). Ellsbury, Pedroia and Buchholz aren't worth Santana.

[Atheose]

HAHA the comments on the article are great. This one is my favorite:

"Maybe the Red Sox will give us Ortiz and Manny too if we throw in Nick Punto?"

[sam-YF]

Nick Punto would really solidfy things at SS for the sox. I say make that move.

[Adam]

I've gotten a sneak peek at next week's column. He moves from sports to foreign policy, predicting that Al Qaeda will denounce terrorism if we send Osama Bin Laden a truckload of shetland ponies and tickets to the Hannah Montana tour.

[Brian]

Listen, I know Ellsbury is as yet an unproven talent, but am I the only person that thinks Tacoby Bellsbury is going to be an All-Star, and sooner rather than later?

To be honest, I REALLY REALLY wanted Crisp to rebound from his sub-par first season and at least return to the level he was getting to when he was with Cleveland, and while his numbers weren't as horrible as '06 he still was well short of expectations.

But, in any case, I thought he'd make Cleveland pay for getting rid of him by having a monster ALCS... in the end none of it happened and I believe as good as Crisp is in the field, and he is phenomenal, Ellsbury has every chance to be as good if not better!

This is a kid who won the Minor League Base Runner and Defensive Player of the year two years running. He's the kind of player that drives opposing teams crazy. And I have a feeling that in a very short time he is going to be a major piece of the Red Sox offense.

So why would you trade Dustin Pedroia, the gritty heart of the Sox lineup, AND the up and coming spark plug Ellsbury when in fact Lester, for the longest time, was purported to be a better prospect than Papelbon and has done nothing but win (11-2) so far for the Sox and had yet to fully recover from his cancer treatments when he shut down the Rockies for 5 2/3 scoreless innings to get the win in Game 4 of the WS. Buchholz is the only question mark, BUT if, as it has been reported, Beckett is instructing our young studs Lester and Buchholz on his work-out regimen at his spread in Texas, and
they both buy into it 100%, watch out MLB

I say, keep your Santana and his hefty salary... (just so long as the Yankees don't get him) ...and Nathan, isn't that a NY weiner stand? I will be happy with what the Sox have plus a minor piece or two and a Fenway frank!

Bob, you are just whistling in the dark there buddy-boy.

Hey Bob, how about Santana for Crisp straight up? Now, I like THAT idea!

[Atheose]

Buchholz is the 2nd fastest player in the American League.

Behind Clay Buchholz, of course.

[Atheose]

Wow, meant to say "Ellsbury" is the 2nd fastest player, behind Clay Buchholz.

[Tyrel SF]

Heh. I thought you were making a "he's so fast he'd beat himself" type joke.

[Atheose]

Sadly I'm not that funny. I just suck at typing.

[LocklandSF]

This guy has to be poking fun at their owner with this, no way was this serious. Right?

The comments are seriously funny reading though.

[Atheose]

It's tough to tell, Lockland. I still am not sure if the article is thick with sarcasm or if he's serious.

[dc]

the article was obviously tongue in cheek guys, so those of you taking it seriously need to relax...this guy ain't winnin' no pulitzer no time soon, but neither are any of us...

anyway, if i were the sox i'd have asked for mauer...you'll need a catcher sooner rather than later...

[Atheose]

Well DC when you mix in incorrect facts (such as not knowing that Carlos Silva is a free agent) it makes things less than obvious.

Plus who needs to relax? None of us are getting upset about it ;-)

Also, if you think the Twins will give up Mauer you're on drugs.

[dc]

"Also, if you think the Twins will give up Mauer you're on drugs."

:) ...no drugs, just more joking on my part buddy...

the bad facts just make the joke that much funnier really...my son and i were running scenarios like pavano, bubba crosby, etc. for santana...neither of those guys are yankees anymore [i hope]...but in our twisted minds it was fun and funny...

[Atheose]

That's the problem with the internet... it's tough to tell when people are joking ;-)

I just browsed the comments section on Bob's article, and I notice that a LOT of the comments have been deleted. Interesting.

[AndrewYF]

Buchholz is fast? Is that how he got away with all those laptops?

[SF]

I was honestly confused as to whether the article was satire (as dc thinks) or serious, hence this post. There are moments when Sansevere seems to just be yanking on Pohlad's chain, but then he mixes up the facts and seems truly sincere in thinking this deal is plausible and mutually beneficial. It's a bizarre piece for a professional writer.

[dc]

sf, what convinced me that he was joking was how over-the-top his proposed trade was...facts are just superfluous details when you're kidding...

[AndrewYF]

On the topic of people who know nothing about baseball:

Bill Simmons: (1:52 PM ET ) I actually thought Buster made a great point this week about the value of Danny Haren compared to Johan - not only would he cost less to get, but he's locked into a reasonable contract for the next 3 years (something like $17m total) and he's a 220-IP horse. Maybe he doesn't have the ceiling that Johan has, but he'd be the Yanks's No. 1 starter. Actually, it almost makes more sense for the Twins to do a 3-way where they give up Johan but get Haren as part of the haul back, then Oakland gets a piece of the prospects. For instance, let's say they get Haren and Cano, the A's get Kennedy, Hughes and Cabrera and the Yanks get Johan... wouldn't that work for everybody?

Yeah, that would be really nice for the Twins and the A's. Why is it that the Yankees are mandated to lose in any and all trade proposals? Did Ken Phelps really sting that bad?