Offensive Offenses: Jays-Sox Gamer V

Maybe I am late to the game, but ESPN now features as part of their previews a graphic indicating a projection for each contest to be played.  Tonight a mysterious organization called "Accuscore" gives the Red Sox a 58% chance of emerging victorious, based on some fancy logarithmic calculation involving Manny Ramirez' career OPS against Dustin McGowan, the wind speed at the top of the Green Monster, Daisuke Matsuzaka's gametime body temperature, and David Eckstein's level on the Grit-O-Meter™.  We're not sure whether to take much solace in a "58% chance of winning" (wow, the Sox have an 8% better chance than either winning or losing in equal likelihood!), but it's gotta better than the reverse, right?  Interestingly, Accuscore predicts that Eckstein will have 4.6 at-bats tonight.  (Or were they discussing his height?)  It also predicts that the Sox will hit 1.04 homers, which as far as I can tell is more likely to be a better measure of the cumulative distance of all of Julio Lugo's batted balls than an actual number of round-trippers.  For some reason the simulator kept conking out everytime "Virtual Tito" brought in Javy Lopez to face a lefty, an error message indicating "ERROR CODE 22555222- REVERSE SPLIT".

We don't care much for simulators, at least not when we can watch the real thing.  So use this as your thread for late afternoon baseball discussions and tonight's Sox-Jays contest. Lineups (Sox fans avert your eyes from the #6 - #9 spots, ugh) after the jump.

Red Sox

1. Dustin Pedroia, 2B
2. Kevin Youkilis, 1B
3. David Ortiz, DH
4. Manny Ramirez, LF
5. Mike Lowell, 3B
6. Brandon Moss, RF
7. Jason Varitek, C
8. Coco Crisp, CF
9. Julio Lugo, SS

Daisuke Matsuzaka, SP

Blue Jays

1. Alex Rios, RF
2. David Eckstein, SS
3. Scott Rolen, 3B
4. Matt Stairs, DH
5. Vernon Wells, CF
6. Lyle Overbay, 1B
7. Aaron Hill, 2B
8. Adam Lind, LF
9. Gregg Zaun, C

Dustin McGowan, SP

Comments

[Matt]

Sox lineup here:
http://www.fenwaywest.com

[Paul SF]

Sox lineup also here. As in, the post right above you.

[SF]

Lineup wasn't there when Matt posted, Paul.
I put it up once the Globe posted.

[Paul SF]

Ahh. Thought it was a gratuitous ad. Apologies...

[IronHorse (yf)]

SF's original post here made me chuckle multiple times. Very clever.

Now please lose tonight!

[SoxFan]

"Daisuke Matsuzaka's gametime body temperature"

I hope that this piece of information was not discovered with a rectal thermometer.

[Dionysus]

Solid first innign for Daisuke. Come on what offense we have left!

[Atheose]

and David Eckstein's level on the Grit-O-Meter™

I laughed so hard when I read this that snot came out of my nose.

[rootbeerfloat]

Do we in fact have any offense left?

[Dionysus]

Pedroia makes me vomit. Youk tries but can't hold up., This gonna go AWFUL

[Dionysus]

WHOA!!!

[Dionysus]

That was quite an F-Bomb by Youks

[Atheose]

I hope that this piece of information was not discovered with a rectal thermometer.

SIGH, you want to take all the fun out of taking your temperature!

[Atheose]

HAHA I heard the f-bomb too!

Great play by the left-fielder to track down that ball.

[stuck working]

Hey Dio, save some histrionics for the later innings, huh?

I mean, if Pedroia's first pitch swing makes you want to vomit, how are you possibly going to top that when the Jays actually score? Gargle razorblades? Hula-hoop on the interstate? Sever a limb?

[rootbeerfloat]

WHOA what, Dio? Have some pity on those of us stuck on conf calls watching on gameday...

[Dionysus]

NESN cut to the dugout after Youk struck out, rbf. He was wiping his face with a towel then shouteda nice and loud F-bomb. NESN, without a 7 secodn delay, broadcast it it in all its unbleeped glory

[Dionysus]

Wow. Nice play Youk!

[Atheose]

Youuuuuuuuuk!

[rootbeerfloat]

That's hilarious. I miss EVERYTHING being at work!

[rootbeerfloat]

Dio - If you really want to vomit check out the yankees with bases loaded and no one out.

[Atheose]

Hey RBF, they're lucky to have one out... it was bses loaded with zero outs before Matsui flied out.

Ugh, three straight balls to Giambi. Bonderman is afraid of the plate.

[Dionysus]

Jays down. Lets see some patience at the plate Manny, Mikey and... oh.. ummm...

well, shit.

[Atheose]

Daisuke with another three-up three-down inning. Nice to see.

Giambi hits a sac-fly, he hit it in the gap but it stayed in the air JUST long enough to get caught. Somehow Jeter doesn't tag up and go to third cause he sucks, apparently.

[Atheose]

Goddamnit Melky singles. 2-0 Yanks.

Manny Ramirez drinks your milkshake!

[Dionysus]

I love Manny

[Atheose]

Ugh Lowell

1. Why are you swinging at the first pitch?
2. Why are you swinging at THAT pitch?

[Dionysus]

DOES NO ONE HAVE ANY PLATE EDISCIPLINE????????

[Atheose]

Hehe the Brewers are playing on ESPN, and they have the pitcher batting 8th, the catcher 9th. Gotta suck if you're that catcher.

Ugh, at least Moss hit it hard. Come on Varitek!

[SF]

Jorge Posada and Mike Lowell are groaning all the way to the bank. Have there been two less productive high profile position player signings this year?

[Dionysus]

Tek is molasses. Jacoby would have been on second.

[SF]

Last night's win takes the edge off the fact that the Sox' offense is pathetic right now, that's two more innings of nothing, to go with eight yesterday and 9 the day before and 8 the day before that. This is brutal.

[Atheose]

Have there been two less productive high profile position player signings this year?

I started to type Barry Zito before realizing you said "position players".

[Atheose]

Tigers threatening in the 2nd, runners on 1st and 2nd with zero outs.

[Atheose]

Daisuke is dealing.

[stuck working]

Hey SF, what about Andruw Jones?

[Atheose]

Holy crap Pedroia is a f*cking vacuum!

Haha Remdawg agrees.

[SF]

Zito was last year, too.

Actually, come to think of it, A-Rod has been a bust too at his price!

[Atheose]

I'm a HUGE fan of this get-ahead-of-batters Daisuke.

[SF]

SW: good call, he's up there too.

[Atheose]

I know Zito was signed last year, but I think his bustitude (eww?) has been so great that it warrants mentioning. And to think he was the first pitcher I picked in my fantasy league.

[Atheose]

What the hell? That pitch was a strike, AND he went around!

[Atheose]

Whew, fly out to Coco. Daisuke survives the ump's sudden shrunken strikezone.

Heh, try saying that five times fast.

[Dionysus]

Screw this ump

[Dionysus]

Screw Coco. WHERE'S OUR DISCIPLINE????

[stuck working]

Also, SF, back on the bad position player contracts, think of all the money Toronto is paying Frank Thomas to play for Oakland this year (since we are watching a Jays game). That signing wasn't this year, but that's a terrible waste of money.

[SF]

six runs in the last 38+ innings. Oof.

[Atheose]

Good call stuck, that was a HORRIBLE move by the Jays. "Oh my God, Frank Thomas isn't hitting well IN THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF THE SEASON. Let's get rid of him! That way we don't have to play him, but we still get to pay him!"

And people wonder why the Blue Jays suck.

[SF]

Lugo is back to his old self, his average is going to hit .250 very soon, dropping like a stone.

[Dionysus]

First decent at bat of the night even if it ends in an out. Hope everyone else was watchign and learning.

[SF]

And I did qualify the expensive bust as a "high profile signing", which Frank Thomas marginally qualifies as. Big name, but well past his prime. Lowell and Posada were coming off huge seasons, they were aging but not old, and Lowell had just won a WS MVP. I was careful with my descriptives.

[Atheose]

Daisuke sits Mr Grit down on three pitches. Nice to see.

[Dionysus]

That was a n amazing grtty strike out by Gritmaster Eckstein. Hell, it wasnt even a strike out. It was a grit-out

[Atheose]

Wow, this ump's strikezone is changing by the inning. It was a strike call, which helps Daisuke, but it's really lame to have the strikezone floating all over the place.

[Atheose]

Okay this strikezone is BS.

[Atheose]

Goddamnit stairs singles. F*ck you, ump.

[Atheose]

Shit, 4-pitch walk.

[Atheose]

Wow, the trivia question of the night: who was the last pitcher to lose three straight complete games?

Roy Halladay in 2003.

[Atheose]

WHEW, great play by Lowell to end the inning.

[stuck working]

These offense-free games move at a pretty good clip.

[Dionysus]

I'd still love some offense, stuck. From the Sox, that is.

[Dionysus]

*sighs* Youk ground out.

God damn it.

[Atheose]

Wow, McGowan K's Ortiz on a wicked curveball.

[Atheose]

"The Red Sox have gone 36 innings between Extra Base Hits"

Wow, that's even crazier than the lack-of-runs stretch we have going.

[Atheose]

Geez, the curveball gets Manny too.

[Dionysus]

Are we really this bad? Thsi is atrocious baseball we're playing.

[stuck working]

If the Sox lose this one, it's the last day we get to say it's only April.

[Atheose]

Just the offense, Dio.

[Atheose]

Another 1-2-3 inning for Dice. He's at 82 pitches after 5.0 innings. Not amazing efficiency, but still good considering he's only allowed 3 baserunners.

[Atheose]

Lowell gives it a ride but it dies in the air.

[Dionysus]

SO much frustration. Lowell should have had a double. Stupid weather.

[stuck working]

Tek looked simply confused up there.

[Atheose]

At least Pettitte just gave up the lead in the Yanks game.

[Atheose]

Wow GREAT play by Daisuke to get to first.

[Atheose]

And Pettitte gives up another homerun! 4-2 Tigers.

[Atheose]

Goddamnit, double off the wall.

[Atheose]

I was hoping Daisuke would start the 7th, but he's up over 100 pitches now so that's doubtful.

Wow, fan bare-hands a foul ball that was SCORCHED at him.

[Atheose]

Delcarmen up in the 'pen. Looks like we'll see the patented Delcarmen-Okajima-Papelbon 7th-8th-9th, unless some runs are given up.

[Atheose]

STRIKEOUT ends the inning! Runs please.

[stuck working]

On a completely unrelated note, I just flipped over to TNT for the end of the Cavs/Wiz game and I must say: Gilbert Arenas has a very nice outfit on.

[SF]

Coco and Julio battling to see who can get to .200 first.

[Atheose]

Wow, how did Lebron miss that shot? And more importantly, how did they not call a foul on him?

Gilbert's got a kick-ass blazer on.

[stuck working]

I see we share a fashion sense, Atheose.

[Atheose]

Hey, Coco is hitting .281 and Lugo is at .284. Both are better than they performed last year, so I'll take it.

I also maintain that Lugo is looking a LOT more relaxed at the plate. This is a great at-bat too; he's worked a full count and fouled off a few pitches. And then he grounds out. Bleh.

[Dionysus]

I hate this team right now

[bostondreamer]

(sigh) Anyone remember the old days? You know, when the Sox could actually get more than 5 hits a game?

[Atheose]

Stuck, I've got an old calf-skin blazer that's almost the same color as Gilbert's. It's a tad darker, but still sweet nonetheless.

Wow, ump is squeezing McGowan now. Not that I'm complaining...

[Atheose]

Pedroia grounds out to McGowan, goddamnit. Delcarmen likely coming in for Daisuke, though Gameday is so far behind that I'm not sure. Yet another great pitching performance that will go unrewarded.

[SF]

Coco and Julio were hitting in the mid .300s about a week ago. Their averages are artificial, and will be much lower in another week, I am pretty confident. Coco is a lost cause at the dish, and Lugo has no power left at all. Wonder where it went...

[SF]

40-something innings and six runs. F*ck these guys. Halladay I can understand, but come on, Shields? McGowan? EDWIN JACKSON? Seriously?

[Atheose]

Nevermind, Daisuke still out there. He gives up his third long fly ball in a row, Manny did a good job of tracking it down.

[Atheose]

SF, did you see Daisuke's face after that fly ball? He clearly looks gassed.

[Dionysus]

The ball keeps jsut dying, fortunatley for us this time.

I'm SHOCKED Daisuke is still in this agem with such a rested pen.

[SF]

Not watching. I didn't subscribe to Extra Innings this season, trying to save the family some money. It's awful. I am probably going to succumb soon, I've already told Mrs SF that I can't deal with not watching any games. I hate Gameday as well, the terrible delay isn't helping lessen a desire to spend the money.

[Atheose]

1-2-3 inning for Daisuke. 7IP, 2H, 2BB, 4K. Great outing.

PLEASE GET HIM SOME RUNS! At least we get Youk, Papi and Manny.

[Dionysus]

SF, would MLB.tv be cheaper? Certainly the quality would be less but wouldn't it give you the games and still save you some money?

[SF]

Yeah, maybe Dio, but is MLB.tv any good? I tried it last year for a week and it too sucked, just like Gameday.

[Atheose]

F*CK YES PAPIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

[Dionysus]

I LOVE MY BIG PAPI!

[SF]

PAPI!