That's The Way (I Like It): Royals-Sox Gamer I

KC has a surprisingly competitive record, sitting only one game under .500 and two games out in the tightly-knotted central division. Looking a bit deeper into their numbers, there's not as much sunshine. The offense ranks last in the league in runs scored and ahead of only the lowly Giants and Padres across the majors, while their pitching staff ranks 9th in ERA.

The Royals, who come to Fenway having swept Detroit and having taken two of three from the Marlins, send rookie Luke Hochevar to the bump. Jon Lester, who recorded no-decisions in a so-so outing at Camden and in a very rough start against The Twins, mans the mound for the Sox.

This is one of only three games on tap in the American League tonight. Put on your Boogie Shoes and comment away.

Kansas City
D. DeJesus cf	.279
M. Grudzielanek 2b	.331
A. Gordon 3b	.286
J. Guillen dh	.245
B. Butler 1b	.279
M. Olivo c	.284
M. Teahen rf	.268
E. German lf	.111
T. Pena Jr. ss	.174
L. Hochevar	3.94
Boston
J. Ellsbury cf	.275
D. Pedroia 2b	.307
D. Ortiz dh	.250
M. Ramirez lf	.305
M. Lowell 3b	.280
K. Youkilis 1b	.329
J.D. Drew rf	.281
J. Varitek c	.281
J. Lugo ss	.287
J. Lester	3.95

Comments

[stuck working]

Hey, look! It's our starting line-up! All playing in the same game! Weird.

Also, to jump off of ag's reference to the Royals' sweep of the Tigers: what the hell is going on with the Central Division?? You could flip those standings upside down and I think I'd be less surprised by that than the way things've actually turned out so far.

[rootbeerfloat]

So I can't tell if I'm supposed to be optimistic since KC seems so bad or pessimistic since Lester's on the mound. I feel like you're toying with me, AG.

[attackgerbil]

That's what happens when Paul and SF (who actually have real lives and responsibilities, unlike the gerbil) fall prey to my head games so that I get to write the gamer.

Paul: Let me see your identification.
ag: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see my identification.
Paul: We don't need to see your identification.
ag: These aren't the Sox you're looking for.
Paul: These aren't the Sox we're looking for.
ag: I can go about my business.
Paul: You can go about your business.
ag: Move along.
Paul: Move along... move along.

However, looking at the record, I'd say I'm failing miserably.

[rootbeerfloat]

Any chance you can use your powers for good? Like getting Lester through the 7th?

[attackgerbil]

RBF: I'll do my best. May the schwartz be with you.

[stuck working]

Decent inning for Lester there, although 8 strikes to 6 balls could (characteristically) be better.

[rootbeerfloat]

That whole inning was fast. Isn't that a good sign for Lester that he's pitching quickly? I remember some comments that when he slows down, he doesn't do as well.

[stuck working]

Lester got a first pitch strike on 3 of the 4 ABs in that inning. Unsurprisingly, the walk to Butler was the exceptional AB.

[Brad]

He, as does everyone, pitches much better when he doesn't walk around the whole infield, wipe his brow, tuck in his shirt, fix his cap, and whatever other crazy routine he gets in before getting back on the rubber. Get ball, throw ball, young man.

[rootbeerfloat]

There goes HOchevar's no hitter...

[stuck working]

Most days, I find it hard to believe that the Sox are almost certainly going to continue to feature Tek's bat for the next 3 years or so. So I always feel slightly guilty about thinking that whenever he gets a hit.

[SF]

LFRS strikes again, punctuating a real rally with a run scoring double play, Ellsbury follows with a triple and Pedroia with a walk.

[rootbeerfloat]

this would be a fine time for 499

[SF]

Bases jacked, Manny with the 2-0 count.

Mmmm. Juicy.

[SF]

3-2 to Manny...

fouled.

3-2 to Manny...

fouled.

3-2 to Manny...

fouled.

3-2 to Manny...

Walk!

2-0 Sox, sacks still full.

[SF]

Oh my god, poor Hockevar. Lowell pops one up to the infield and it is dropped in the wind, bouncing off Grudz' glove, two score making it 4-0 Sox. What luck.

[SF]

And Youk hits a GRD to the bullpen, making it 5-0!

[stuck working]

I consider Grundz's error compensation for Lugo.

[SF]

I consider Grundz's error compensation for Lugo.

You mean for LFRS last inning, or in general? If it's the former, maybe. If it's the latter, all the gold in Fort Knox wouldn't be...

[SF]

What a grab by Jacoby to end the inning, extending to his left to catch a dipping liner. Fantastic!

[SF]

Jacoby steals 2/3 on consecutive pitches!

[Brad]

What a week to start Jacoby!! I feel a huge week for him coming on..

[SF]

Hmmm...

[Brad]

hmmm..

the HBP you mean?

[Brad]

but alas, I left the captain on my bench...

[SF]

Nope, not the HBP. Just, hmm.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Do we talk about it yet?

[SF]

Hmmmmmmmm....

[Atheose]

I JUST GOT HOME, OMG OMG OMG...

I mean, uhh... great to see that offense!

[ponch - sf]

i've been wondering that myself for the last 2 innings

[SF]

Sure, talk all about it. I talked about Derek Lowe's with my mom while it was in progress. In fact, I may have tortured my mom by saying the "words" about twelve times in a row in like the seventh inning just to prove a point.

[Atheose]

Jesus f*cking christ I've been waiting for like 2 minutes for mlb.tv to load. GOGOGO!

Wow, great catch by Jacoby. mlb.tv is up.

[Atheose]

Lester at 97 pitches. Hmmm.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

My brother in law said that when he played college ball (Northwestern, career leader in losses and ERA, good ERA, that is), they couldn't say the words, but they could say N and H words, like Naked Horse or Noodle Hurdler.

If I remember right, Buccholz got pissed at his mates when they ignored him last year.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

C'mon Manny. 499 here. ... uh, .... HERE. ... No, ..... HERE!!!

[Atheose]

Yeah, Buchholz said that it made him MORE nervous having everyone acting like he had the plague. Oh well, he still had his neolithic humpback.

[Atheose]

Manny K's. Back to Lester.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

OK, 6 to go. I'm supposed to go to the grocery store.

What's the ESPN game?

[Atheose]

ESPN has caught whiff of it, saying the N and H words about 5 times. Unlike SF, I'm extremely superstitious.

[Atheose]

ESPN has Cubs at Astros. They just said they'll cut in if it goes to the 9th.

As someone who was absent from a TV on September 1 last year (I was at the US Open in Queens) I'm about to pee my pants.

[Atheose]

Coco in defensively. Whew.

[TJ]

Joe C just said the word -_-

[I'mBillMcNeal]

K! 5 to go!

[Atheose]

Butler K's. 5 to go.

[ponch - sf]

lotta pitches here.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Joe's said it a few times.
Rule doesn't apply to broadcasters.

fucking Cubs.

[Brad]

rrriiiiiigggggghhhhhhtttttttt

hmmmmmm.

[SF]

Funny, I am situationally superstitious. Sometimes I have to have things lined up exactly in a certain way, sometimes I couldn't care less.

I just remember Lowe's you-know-what, and how I kept saying things like, "hey, mom, can you believe Derek Lowe is throwing a -----?", and she'd tell me to shut up or something. And see what happened? I had no impact.

But then, when the Sox were in Game Four of the series last year I had to watch the final two outs through a slot between my fore and middle finger, such was my belief that doing anything else might lead to a game-ending home run even though nobody was on base.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

It also would be Lester's first career complete game.

K!!! 4 to go!!!

[rootbeerfloat]

I'd rather they play it safe pitch-count wise than let him go for any sort of milestone. Remember how screwed up Schilling was last year after his one-hitter?

[Atheose]

0-2 count, Lester has gotten ahead a lot tonight.

Foul ball, still 0-2.

STRIKEOUT!

[SF]

Counting down outs is the same as saying the words, I'll have you know.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

No taunting, SF.
Someone get A YF in here so you can taunt him instead.

[Atheose]

And Anibal Sanchez, RBF. And Buchholz, to a small degree.

0-2 count... ball. Foul ball. Fly out to Coco!

[SF]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[ponch - sf]

113 pitches is a lot. Be smart or let him go for the glory?

[Brad]

no. let him go. Worst case scenario: my boy Masterson gets the call!

[Atheose]

Yeah, after I typed the remaining outs I shuddered a bit. Glad to see it didn't matter too much.

Lester has struck out 6 of the last 12 batters.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Until Hideo Nomo, this was when we used to start talking about Dave Morehead.

[attackgerbil]

> Someone get A YF in here so you can taunt him instead.

As you wish. This is great stuff.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Howdy, AG.
Thanks for coming over to pace with us.

[Atheose]

113 pitches isn't outrageous. Wasn't Clemens at like 150 pitchesduring his strikeout game?

[SF]

I'd rather they play it safe pitch-count wise than let him go for any sort of milestone.

Pretty sure that ain't happening. Short leash, though, for sure.

[rootbeerfloat]

AG - You ARE using your powers for good!

[ponch - sf]

bet ESPN is glad they went with the Cubs-Astros.

[Brad]

Man. It was a nice day today. Sun shining. Nice cool breeze. Great day for a nice steak on the grill. A nice hamburger.

[stuck working]

I'm not superstitious but I'm not going to say anything about it, except to say: OF COURSE YOU LET HIM TRY! Jeez, what's wrong with you people? Pitch count, schmitch count -- hell, he can skip his next start for all I care. But you never know when you'll get another shot.

[SF]

> Someone get A YF in here so you can taunt him instead.

As you wish. This is great stuff.

I just got the joke, Gerb. Hysterical!

[Atheose]

Lester pacing in the dugout. Let's have a few quick outs fellas, get him back out there before he drives himself crazy.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Another former Nippon Ham Fighter on the mound.

Here's what I don't know: Does Nippon make Hams, so the nickname is the Fighters, sponsored by Nippon Hams, or is the nickname the Ham Fighters, which would make me wonder what a Ham Fighter is?

quick inning so far. ...

[bostondreams]

So i get home from a freaking high school awards cermony (yay, I have smart students!), and find out, well, what is going on!

C'mon Sox. C'mon Lester!

[SF]

I'm with SW.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

OK, Lester.
Jesus. I just don't want to hear "Cancer survivor."

[SF]

RE: Nippon Ham Fighters

It's a team owned by the Nippon Ham corporation. Nippon makes ham. They are the "Fighters". Hence, the Nippon Ham Fighters. It's an odd name, for sure, but when you realize the company is Nippon Ham it's not as weird.

[SF]

Fasten those belts!

[Brad]

very funny, Ponch.

[Atheose]

*gulp* Three straight balls.

[Atheose]

FUCK.

[Micah-SF]

Finally, they put it on ESPN... and a leadoff walk. C'mon, Jon! Finish it!

[bostondreams]

Well, that is not a good sign. A DP would be great here!

[Atheose]

Why the HELL is Youk holding the runner?

[SF]

Eh, leadoff walk. Nerves or fatigue, who knows. Could be either based on Lester's situation and track record.

[Atheose]

I swear to god if DeJesus tries bunting on I'm going to kill myself

[I'mBillMcNeal]

I'm trying to explain a no-0no top my six-year-old. I must be nuts.

[SF]

Why doesn't Lester just pitch from the windup and ignore the runner?

[ponch - sf]

at least he's got a big lead. One less thing to worry about

[Atheose]

Oooooo bad call, 2-1. Then strike 2!

[Atheose]

Two down.

[Micah-SF]

TWO DOWN. TWO DOWN.

[SF]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

[Atheose]

Strike 1

[Brad]

crunch time!@!

[Brad]

come on kid

[SF]

1SA

[ponch - sf]

YEAH!

[Atheose]

Sick curveball for strike 2! Finish him!

YES! HE DID IT!

[stuck working]

HELL. YES.

[Micah-SF]

HE DID IT! HE DID IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID IT!

[SF]

WOW!!!!!!!

[Brad]

Awesome.
Even more awesome.
What a freaking awesome story.