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I am sick of this c*cksucking motherf*cking interleague sh*t. F*ck it. These Arizonian c*nts better have the p*ss knocked out of them by the boys from Boston, that would be the t*ts.
Normally we scoff at blue language, but in this thread have at it. It's the least we can do to honor one Mr. Carlin. Every comment should endeavor to cleverly incorporate one of the "seven". The best comment gets a f*cking prize.Comment away here. Lineups after the jump.
Red Sox
Ellsbury-LF
Pedroia-2B
Drew-RF
Ramirez-DH
Lowell-3B
Youkilis-1B
Varitek-C
Crisp-CF
Lugo-SS
Beckett-SP
Diamondbacks
Eric "c*nt" Byrnes-LF
Stephen "motherf*cker" Drew-SS
Orlando "t*ts" Hudson-2B
Conor Jackson-1B
Chad "c*cksucker" Tracy-DH
Mark Reynolds-3B
Chris Young-CF
Chris "p*ss" Snyder-C
Justin "f*ck" Upton-RF
Dan "sh*t" Haren-SP
Woohoo, I'm back at last! Was in England for the last 10 days, god I've missed baseball.
I saw Georgie's comments on interleague and the lack of DH, pretty funny. The National League is like the 1800's? Wow. The first paragraph above sounds like something Lou Pinella would say!
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 06:32 PM
In honor of George x2 :) -
Sh1tlicker Ellsbury-LF
Buttf^cker Pedroia-2B
A$$eater Drew-RF
Always on Top Ramirez-DH
C0cknibbler Lowell-3B
Manmuffin Youkilis-1B
Dolphinwaxer Varitek-C
TunaTaco Crisp-CF
Neddled1ck Lugo-SS
Deepthroat Beckett-SP
Posted by: A YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 06:48 PM
Fuck Dan Haren. Beckett's the shit.
We've gotta start somehow, right?
Tits.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 06:52 PM
Wtf, rain delay? Seriously? The one day I'm finally back in this country mother nature decides to be a bitch?
Tits. Tits I say!
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 07:06 PM
Tits indeed.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 07:06 PM
Hey a baseball game!
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 07:40 PM
Uh, oh....
"Schilling could be throwing off mound by January after successful surgery"
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3457869
Posted by: A YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 07:46 PM
Beckett looks fucking good.
Finally settling in for the game, just finished making a motherfucking grilled cheese sandwich.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 07:58 PM
I just grilled up a homemade quesadilla, tons of cheese and chicken and bacon. Motherfucker is an inch and a half thick.
Our offense is making good contact off of Haren, but just not hitting it hard enough.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:02 PM
I just grilled up a homemade quesadilla, tons of cheese and chicken and bacon. Motherf%cker is an inch and a half thick.
Our offense is making good contact off of Haren, but just not hitting it hard enough.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:02 PM
It won't let me say "motherf$cker" because of the anti spam filter. Grrrrrr.
Wow, Youk looked ugly on that strikeout. Haren's splitter is nasty.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:03 PM
Haren shuts the Sox down easily, three up, three down, I am sure Youk said something like "motherfucker, motherfucker c*nt" on his trip back to the dugout.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:04 PM
OK, Ath, try now, you motherfucker.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:06 PM
Great play by Lowell!
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:06 PM
Lowell's one awesome motherfucker.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:06 PM
Woohoo! *Victory dance*
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:06 PM
Double for someone on this cocksucking NL team.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:08 PM
Beckett with a beautiful curve to strike out Stephen Drew, the Drew boy with a big pair of floppy tits. We've got the badass motherfucker member of that family.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:14 PM
Beckett gets a lucky call by the ump for strike 3. He's given up two extra base hits already, but he's still okay. Let's go offense!
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:14 PM
OK, this isn't going to be as fun if I am all by my motherfucking self in here.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:14 PM
I love this motherfucking game thread. Let's get these cocksucker, motherfucking, douche bag, cunt hairs, out of our motherfucking park.
RIP George.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:15 PM
God, Tek should just pull his pants down and piss all over himself, that's about the best metaphor I can think of for his offense right now.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:17 PM
TEK!!! Love that over the hill motherfucker.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:18 PM
FUCKING REVERSE JINX WORKS EVERY MOTHERFUCKING TIME.
Two bagger for the leg-pisser.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:18 PM
Haren, with the dive? Wow.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:18 PM
Haren tried the "fuck you, I'm gonna slow down my motion and try to fool you" but Tek said "no, you're not, you hippy-looking fuck".
Now Coco pisses away a chance at a run, popping up a bunt, Haren lays out and dives, crunching his tits in the process but making a nice grab.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:19 PM
Amazing play by Haren there. Mad props to that tit-faced fucker.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:20 PM
Haren brought his motherfucking A game.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:20 PM
Fuck you, LFRS.
Sweet and simple.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:20 PM
TEK loves a good fucking Hippie bashing.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:21 PM
Too bad Carlin didn't make it nine dirty words and add in "douchebag" and "asshole".
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:21 PM
Remember, a single may not score that slow motherfucker at second.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:22 PM
Haren walks Ells, doesn't want to fuck with Jacoby, instead would rather fuck with Pedroia, who I imagine has heard plenty of jokes about being able to cocksuck standing up.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:23 PM
Congress only gave him seven, nine would have been asking for too much.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:23 PM
Fuck this motherfucking shitty-ass offense made entirely of cocksuckers.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:25 PM
Pedroia swings and misses at a ball above his tits, meaning a pitch that is at most motherfuckers' knees. Inning over.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:25 PM
King Felix totally hit a motherfucking grand slam off Santana. How kick-ass is that?
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:27 PM
Wow, I never expected this much truth from SFs in a Sox gamethread :)
Posted by: A YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:28 PM
Opposite-field, no less.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:29 PM
Josh Beckett, punching cocks on a national stage since 2003.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:30 PM
Oh, I didn't read the motherfucking instructions very well! I now realize the rules of the thread only involve the actual seven motherfucking words.
Posted by: LocklandSF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:31 PM
Holy shit, LFRS didn't fuck one up. Two down.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:31 PM
Josh Beckett, punching cocks on a national stage since 2003
We almost had a winner there, except for 2006 when Beckett pitched like a big-titted cocksucker.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Some Red Sox or other wanna fucking score?
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Ump has a slow fucking strike call.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:36 PM
Come on Manny, you weird motherfucker.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:37 PM
Ugly as sin. Fucking pitchers' duel.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:41 PM
Shit inning, again. More pressure on Beckett. Hey, let's waste another fucking start!
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:41 PM
Big-titted cocksucker...
Sabathia?
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:43 PM
Oh geez Youk's face looks like a strange fruit! And crap, Casey is out.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:44 PM
Youk took a ball off the eye in infield warmup? Tell me it was Lugo...
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:44 PM
Youk gets hit in the face during infield warmups, his eye is closing up like Tyson's after Buster Douglas fucked him up. Has to leave the game.
Fucking great.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:45 PM
Felix hitting a granny off Santana? Priceless!
And Youk is definitely out, Moss at first. Ugh.
Posted by: Atheose | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:45 PM
Was it LFRS? That motherfucker.
He can fuck anything up. Ten bucks he'd burn a bowl of fucking Cheerios if he was asked to make breakfast.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:46 PM
Lugo fucking sucks.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:48 PM
is this moss's first game playing first?
Posted by: sf rod | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:48 PM
Seriously, when is this "fuckface who plays shortstop" era going to end?
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:49 PM
Seeing it on rewind...I think it was from Lowell and bounced in the dirt. Youk's problem entirely.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:49 PM
oops, didn't stick with the theme.....motherfucker.
Posted by: sf rod | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:50 PM
I think I may stop calling our SS "LFRS" and start calling him the "FWPS"!
"Fwips" can be alliterated, making it handy in bar conversation, while "LFRS" is a mouthful, and also might be confused with "laughers".
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:50 PM
I refuse to blame Lowell. My bet is that the fuckface who plays shortstop was waving his hands, or blocked the light from the stanchions, or ripped off a huge fart, and distracted Youk. Everything is that cocksucker's fault. Global warming, too.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:52 PM
Beckett fucking rules.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:52 PM
moss's positions by games played...
LF: 6, RF: 8, DH: 1, PH: 5, PR: 1
Posted by: sf rod | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:53 PM
Well, Tek got his hit for the night, that shit don't happen twice in the same game anymore.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:58 PM
Fuck Tek is slow.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 08:59 PM
FUUUUUCK. Decent contact from Moss and Coco, and, uh, fairly well-placed by Tek, but no go anywhere.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:00 PM
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:00 PM
Byrnes fucking dances toward first on contact, the ball lends at the deepest part of the track.
Bam, strikeout.
Bam, popout.
Holy shit. That was the inning. How long was that? 3 minutes? 4?
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:06 PM
All pitching all the fucking time. 4 hits tonight by the teams combined through 6. The Red Sox have 1. 1 fucking hit.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:11 PM
Was that like three fucking pitches the Sox saw?
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:13 PM
Fucking Manny...bats almost .500 against this son of a bitch and can't fucking put the ball anywhere? Fucking first pitch of his second at bat was the best pitch he's gonna see out of that dickhead Haren and Manny shits there like he's thinking about taking a shit.
Crap.
Holy Moley
Schuckzz!
Posted by: walein | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:14 PM
What the fuck was wrong with that 2-2 pitch? Been called a strike all fucking night.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:16 PM
Arrgggggggg...he's on my fantasy team!!!!! Cock for brains!!!!
Posted by: walein | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:16 PM
Fuck, leadoff walk. The bullpen is wasted, too. Come on, Beckett.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:17 PM
Now this cocksucker can't find the plate.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:17 PM
Wow, this motherf^cker of a cunt Beckett is dealing sh1t. It would the f^ck of a pisser if he gave up a cocksucking run now.
Posted by: A YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:20 PM
One down, and some D-Back cocksucker hits one off the fists that finds short left field. Two on, one down.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:23 PM
Sucky, let's see what happens next.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:24 PM
It's 2-0 Diamondbacks. 2 out. Will the run at 3rd come in?
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:27 PM
Motherfucker. YES! That's what happens next :)
Posted by: Marc YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:27 PM
Oh well, this game is probably fucking over. Beckett gassed this inning.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:29 PM
Right, right.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:30 PM
the ump has turned into a complete cocksucker
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:31 PM
Did someone mention a 3-4 minute inning? Anyone?
Posted by: Marc YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:31 PM
Guys, don't forget to ignore the cocksuckers who troll their opponents' game threads looking to gloat.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:32 PM
His last batter, either way, I fucking hope.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:33 PM
Ahh, the love from the cocksuckers of Red Sox Nation.
Posted by: Marc YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:35 PM
It seems odd it's such a dirty word when it's such a nice act..."cocksucker", I mean.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:35 PM
I wonder if the motherfucking cunts filling their fat fuck man tits with Fenway Franks will be throwing piss and shit on the field after this offensive performance by their favorite cocksuckers.
Posted by: A YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:38 PM
Actually SF I'm just respecting your Carlin tribute night and having a bit of fun.
And devine, you are right. My girlfriend I live with here in Maine is a rabid sox fan and I have come to respect you guys.
Posted by: Marc YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:41 PM
Cocksucking overanxious is Moss.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:43 PM
SF, you must not open Yanks threads where this happens all the fucking time.
Posted by: Lar | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:43 PM
That was the worst swing ever by Tek. Talk about the person I don't want up.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:44 PM
Fucking SCARY 1-2 pitch. Thought for sure the inning was done.
And a shit foul ball. It's a sucky at-bat so far.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:46 PM
Fuck me, I'm the motherfucker of a cunt trying to win the piss and shit prize of the cocksucking contest.
Posted by: A YF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:47 PM
Wait, *THAT* was the worst swing ever.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:47 PM
Tek is worse at the plate than the fuckface who plays shortstop.
That's fucking scary.
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:49 PM
I fucking miss Papi...FUCK, now ESPN says it. Fuck them.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:50 PM
Fuck me, I'm the motherfucker of a cunt trying to win the piss and shit prize of the cocksucking contest.
You realize you have a smaller chance of winning than the Olsen twins do of growing 36DD tits?
Posted by: SF | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:50 PM
Beckett shouldn't be in this game.
Posted by: Devine | Monday, June 23, 2008 at 09:50 PM