In Honor of George (not Steinbrenner): D-Backs-Sox Gamer I

I am sick of this c*cksucking motherf*cking interleague sh*t. F*ck it. These Arizonian c*nts better have the p*ss knocked out of them by the boys from Boston, that would be the t*ts. 

Normally we scoff at blue language, but in this thread have at it. It's the least we can do to honor one Mr. Carlin. Every comment should endeavor to cleverly incorporate one of the "seven". The best comment gets a f*cking prize.

Comment away here.  Lineups after the jump.

Red Sox

Ellsbury-LF
Pedroia-2B
Drew-RF
Ramirez-DH
Lowell-3B
Youkilis-1B
Varitek-C
Crisp-CF
Lugo-SS
Beckett-SP

Diamondbacks

Eric "c*nt" Byrnes-LF
Stephen "motherf*cker" Drew-SS
Orlando "t*ts" Hudson-2B
Conor Jackson-1B
Chad "c*cksucker" Tracy-DH
Mark Reynolds-3B
Chris Young-CF
Chris "p*ss" Snyder-C
Justin "f*ck" Upton-RF

Dan "sh*t" Haren-SP

Comments

[attackgerbil]

Just to stick with the theme,

Oh, eat-bite-fuck-suck-gobble-nibble-chew, nipple-bosom-hairpie-fingerfuck-screw, moose-piss, cat-pud, orangutan-tit, sheep-pussy, camel-crack, pig and lion shit.

Awww-shit.

Thank you John Valby. The best thing Rochester made outside of film, machines that make copies of things, machines that make ball bearings, and Cab Calloway. Actually the last mentioned was best.

Your mother swims after troop ships, gerbil.

[Atheose]

Beckett had better be on a short leash this inning. He needs to be yanked if anyone gets on base.

[Atheose]

FUCK, now ESPN says it. Fuck them.

Oh shit, the game's on ESPN? I've been watching mlb.tv all this time! Worse quality, though Remdawg and DO are much better than these ESPN announcers.

[Devine]

Beckett tells me to fuck off, holds serve in the 8th.

[Atheose]

Good inning from Beckett.

[Devine]

gerb, reminds me of a George Carlin (!) special:

"ratshit-batshit, dirty old twat
sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot

Hooray, lizardshit, FUCK!"

[SF]

Well, tough luck start for Beckett, can't ask for much more other than to not walk fucking leadoff men late in games. But other than that shit, he's done a fine job, it's too bad our offense might as well be sporting a bunch of saggy tits with the way they've been playing lately.

[SF]

Haren yanked. Interesting. Don't fuck this up, Coco.

[A YF]

"You realize you have a smaller chance of winning than the Olsen twins do of growing 36DD tits?"

What the fuck, Tits? I'm the only motherfucker of MILF cunts trying to win this piss contest dreamed up by a full of shit cocksucker.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Too bad Manny is the DH tonight. I'd like to see him disappear into the Monster to take a piss. Or a sh!t. I know, I shouldn't give a fnck, but I imagine a game against the NYY, when I can hear that cnut Suzyn Waldman and her cocksncker partner John "Motherfncker" Sterling whine about it. By the way, I hear Suzyn does NOT have nice t!ts.

OK. It's lame. Too easy.

[SF]

Did you see that play that Coco fucked up?

[Devine]

SF just gave the winner.

[SF]

FWPS actually works a good at-bat, jogs to first base, tits-a-bouncing.

[A YF]

And then there are the cocksuckers who think this motherfucking contest is as easy as their cunts but are too busy eating shit and drinking piss to milk their fat tits and give a fuck.

[Devine]

SOMEBOY FUCKING DO SOMETHING WITH MEN ON BASE YOU FUCKING CUNTRAGS!

[attackgerbil]

Devine, yeah, I like that one too. Thank you, GC, opening the spigot the way you did.

[SF]

And then there are the cocksuckers who think this motherfucking contest is as easy as their cunts but are too busy eating shit and drinking piss to milk their fat tits and give a fuck.

Not sure you really understand this "contest". It's not a "who wants to audition for a job writing for a low-budget gonzo porn magazine" contest.

Ells! Fuck yeah!

[SF]

The motherfucking bases are filled.

Why did they yank Haren? Did his tits start hurting?

[Devine]

Well, he hit the ball hard in a hitter's count, at least. 1 run in.

[SF]

JD, not fucking good enough. 2-1 on the sac fly.

[Devine]

Manny ignores a fastball down the middle. Geez.

[A YF]

"It's not a "who wants to audition for a job writing for a low-budget gonzo porn magazine" contest."

You cocksucker, you're just pissy cause your cunt didn't get fucked with shit while your motherfucker of a offense sucked tits.

[SF]

Come on, Manny, heat the fuck up.

[Atheose]

JD, not fucking good enough. 2-1 on the sac fly.

The old Drew would have GIDP.

[Atheose]

How is Manny not crushing these pitches? They're all right down the middle!

FUCKING TITFUCKER THIRD BASEMAN. Manny scorches a ball to third but it's caught.

[Devine]

ROCKET...right to 3rd. Oof, that's fucking painful.

[SF]

Aw, shit luck. Why BABIP means very little in isolation.

[A YF]

Aw shit. I bet you fucks would rather be sucking your cunt of a mother's tits than watching your favorite cocksuckers piss their beds. What now, motherfuckers?

[Atheose]

Damnit Lugo.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

On to more important topics:
Two shows I heard today, on WEEI and on Michael K's show, were discussions about the unevenness of interleague play.
Why, for example (and I'm not picking on anyone here or claiming favoritism; just making an example) as the AL East seemingly paired up against the NL Central, in three straight series Boston gets Cincinnati (NL East), St. Louis (NL Central) and Arizona (NL West). In 11 years of interleague, the Cubs are yet to play at Fenway.
It is even more uneven, unbalanced and, dare I say, unfair this year than usual.
For example, NYY gets San Diego, Pittsburgh and Houston (all well under .500) while Boston gets Philadelphia (1st), St. Louis (2nd) and Arizona (1st). I'm sure there are other examples. (I seem to recall that last year Boston had a more favorable IL sked than NYY.)
When these teams are competing against each other for the division title, shouldn't they be playing the same teams?

In general, I avoid complaining about interleague so as to not sound like an old man, but this is very odd. ...

[Devine]

That's about the peak of Lugo's shortstopping ability right there, letting the ball roll slowly into the outfield off his glove.

[Atheose]

At least we're not those cuntslammers in New York!

[SF]

Jed

Fucking

Lowrie

Please?

[A YF]

"Why BABIP means very little in isolation."

Fuck, that's some insightful shit. Did you piss that from your cunt or think of it while cocksucking? You'd think a motherfucker would know BABIP doesn't equal tits at Mardi Gras "in isolation".

[Marc YF]

Umm, I'mBillMcNeal. Is there any way they knew what the stats would be this time of year that they played? I do agree though that the teams should be played moere equal as you say and the schedule should be replicated for both.

[Atheose]

Aardsma picked a fantastic time to forget where the strikezone is.

[Devine]

Well, it's about what one fucking expects from Aardsma.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Marc, that's my point.
When the teams in the same division don't play the same interleague skeds, this is what happens - one team can get better opposition than the other.

[Atheose]

YEAH! Aardsma!

Okay boys, let's get 'em back.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

It is my understanding that MLB went to a new schedulemaker a couple of years ago and, IMHO, the results haven't been good.
NYY, for example, had an unGodly number of road games in May, and The RS make FOUR trips to the West Coast. Back in the balanced schedule days, Boston and NYY would go west only twice, but they'd play Seattle, Calif and Oakland each trip.

[A YF]

Great tits when a cocksucking manager bats a cunt with a .280 OBP in the fucking leadoff spot. Really, shithead just take the motherfucker and piss the outs away!

[SF]

Lowell with the awesome approach!

Fuck.

[Atheose]

Well that was a quick inning.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

The absence of Ortiz is starting to show.

[Devine]

Well...quite fucking dispiriting.

[SF]

Four fucking pitches in the ninth.

What complete assholes. Another deserved loss. Should be four Ls in row if Tony Motherfucking LaRussa hadn't pulled Pineiro yesterday.

Good fucking night.

[A YF]

Good night, cocksuckers. May you find a cunt to fuck and may your motherfucking team continue to eat shit and piss blood.

I love tits!

[John - YF]

Just got home and started to read this entire thread...Holy Cow!

[SF]

Don't you mean "holy shit!"?!

[John - YF]

How amazing is it that by simply allowing cursing we pushed the comments for a regular old game to just about 150...Pretty crazy!

[SF]

Carlin would be proud. I think.

Anyhow, this one's for you, George. Thread closed. RIP.