Fly-On-The-Wall: Sox-Yanks Gamer XIV

Nick and ag had a chat today, mourning the impending demise of the Yankees' season.

ag: baseball has me down.  I've got a moon shot draw from the hearts deck of sociopathic tendencies.

Nick: kris kristoferrson would play me in the movie of my life

ag: I guess that leaves me with Nick Nolte

Nick: Nick Nolte versus Kris in the battle of grizzled tell-it-like-it-is men.  for the Lee Marvin award

Nick: Bad song, and you can't even dance to it.

ag: That's brutal

Nick: yep.  Can't win, so take it out on the guy with the full bladder.  you always know when an empire is crumbling by the stupidity of its foot soldiers.

ag: Onward Bronxian soldiers.  Except General Joe ran into Genghis Maddon and Tito The Great, and our little Napoleons fight their battle of hold-your-water-you-can't-go-to-the-loo.

Lineups follow, comment away...

Byrd facing Ponson feels so ripe for sniping but too easy, so what's the point?

Boston
J. Ellsbury rf	.263
D. Pedroia 2b	.315
D. Ortiz dh	.263
K. Youkilis 1b	.319
J. Bay lf	.341
J. Lowrie 3b	.296
J. Varitek c	.223
A. Cora ss	.278
C. Crisp cf	.263
P. Byrd	4.61
NY Yankees
J. Damon cf	.313
D. Jeter ss	.294
B. Abreu rf	.298
A. Rodriguez 3b	.308
J. Giambi 1b	.247
X. Nady lf	.321
H. Matsui dh	.310
R. Cano 2b	.269
I. Rodriguez c	.283
S. Ponson	4.67

Comments

[I'mBillMcNeal]

With Papi batting, Obie points out on ESPN that Ruth homered against Boston in the first game played at the Stadium, a 3-run homer in a 4-1 NYY victory.
Sutcliffe: "and that was the beginning of the Curse of the Babe."

Um, no. The beginning of the "curse" was Dan Shaughnessey.

shut up, Sut.

[Devine]

BAY! 2-0!

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Bay doubles in 2.

How did Nady not catch that? That was very, very catchable.

[Micah-SF]

And Bay saves the Sox from an embarrassing failure to score off Ponson with second and third, one out by doubling in two after a Youk strikeout.

I like Jason Bay!

[Hudson]

I'm really looking forward to watching this Orioles-Indians game. I mean, the Red Sox-Yankees game.

Seriously, could anyone have guessed back in February that we'd be watching Ponson v. Byrd in The Toilet during the majestic last days of Yankee Stadium?

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Lowrie walks. 24 pitches. I love the Aruban Assassin.

[Micah-SF]

Ugh, stupid Abreu.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Come on. Don't run on A-broo.

[Micah-SF]

Gameday says Strike 3 was a gift.

[Devine]

Sounds like a good play by Ellsbury on the radio.

[Micah-SF]

This game is going pretty much the way I expected it to.

[Micah-SF]

This game is going pretty much the way I expected it to.

[attackgerbil]

Robi Cano, taking cuts, taking a seat.

[Hudson]

Minnesota won today; Chicago is a little behind in the early going -- FWIW.

[Hudson]

Typing "Minnesota" and "Chicago" made me think -- which teams are named for the *city* in which they reside, as opposed to the *state*?

And what drives which the franchise chooses?

That is: why aren't they the Minneapolis Twins? Why not the Massachusetts Red Sox (or New England Red Sox)? The Illinois White Sox? The Kansas Royals? The Maryland Orioles?

Surely someone has written about this before...

[Micah-SF]

They're letting Sir Sidney the Pontoon settle down? Ugh.

[Brownie]

This is starting to turn into the least-likely pitcher's duel of all time.

[stuck working]

I'm pretty sure you just about guaranteed that Byrd gives up 4 runs in this inning, Brownie.

[attackgerbil]

> which teams are named for the *city*

Teams named after the city in which they play, which is right and proper:

Atlanta Braves
Baltimore Orioles
Boston Red Sox
Chicago Cubs
Chicago White Sox
Cincinnati Reds
Cleveland Indians
Detroit Tigers
Houston Astros
Kansas City Royals
Los Angeles Dodgers
Milwaukee Brewers
Minnesota Twins
New York Mets
New York Yankees
Oakland Athletics
Philadelphia Phillies
Pittsburgh Pirates
San Diego Padres
San Francisco Giants
Seattle Mariners
St. Louis Cardinals
Toronto Blue Jays
Washington Nationals (a federal district I guess, but it works. Still would have been cool if they were the Washington Grays)

Stupidly-named teams who claim states, or cities in which they don't play, as home:

Arizona Diamondbacks
Colorado Rockies
Florida Marlins
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Tampa Bay Rays

Team names that are not stupid because behind his beard is a third fist:

Texas Rangers

[SF]

the least-likely pitcher's duel of all time.

I might say the "least likeable" pitcher's duel, too. I hate both these guys.

[attackgerbil]

Oops.. left the stupid Twins in the right and proper list, which is why I thought your idea was interesting to begin with, Hudosn.. Should be the Twin-City Twins! And they are in the Stupidly-named list accordingly.

[attackgerbil]

erm.. Hudson rather.

[SF]

Funny, but shouldn't Ponson be one of the smaller targets of YF ire this season? Despite all expectations, he really hasn't done so badly.

[Devine]

Struck him out with the runner at 3rd. One more!

Damn, Matsui...for whatever reason, I think he's likely to drive a run in.

[attackgerbil]

> shouldn't Ponson be one of the smaller targets of YF ire this season?

Hah.

[attackgerbil]

Big chance for Robi here. Behind 0-2, he taks out of the zone. The 1-2 just misses the corner. 2-2 coming.

[attackgerbil]

The 2-2: ripped past a diving Pedroia to tie the game. Dusty thumps his fist into the turf in frustration.

[Devine]

Dern.

[SF]

Oh, Byrd, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways...

one, two, three, four, five, six -- aw, forget it.

[attackgerbil]

IRod flies out to right to end the inning. 9-1-2 coming up for the Sox.

[Micah-SF]

Getting out of that tied was about the best I was hoping for. Bleh.

[attackgerbil]

Cameo of Brian Cashman, alone in his luxury box... VP, Assistant GM, and active Monster.com participant.

[attackgerbil]

Coco Ks, but Jacoby singles past a non-diving Cano.

[stuck working]

AG: for the sake of argument, I'll defend the naming of the Twins. Calling them the Minneapolis-St. Paul Twins would be the far stupider choice since its redundancy is obvious. And then what are you going to do- pick one? They can't be the Minneapolis Twins because the whole point of the name is that it's both.

Ergo, here's my addendum: when the team's name indicates its location, it's then acceptable for the state rather than the city to be included in the team name. For example, the Angels play in Anaheim, which is Orange County. Although it would be bad for other reasons, the California Oranges would thus be an acceptable team name.

[attackgerbil]

Great piece of hitting by Dusty to put the ball on the ground in the hole to the weak side as Cano was covering the bag on the hit and run. Speedy Ellsbury easily at third.

Nice play, nice hitting. Now Ortiz to make YFs sweat.

[attackgerbil]

Fair argument, stuck, but I think it's only for the fact that Minneapolis is hard to spell and harder to fit on a jersey.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

and the walk loads teh bases for Yooks.
I like our chances here.

[attackgerbil]

Robertson's in the pen as Ortiz is put on base to load them. Now the greek god of perspiration does his best pitch for right left-hitting guard.

[attackgerbil]

Edwar Ramirez also up in the Yanks pen.

[attackgerbil]

The 2-0 looked pretty good but it's now 3-0. Youk takes all the way to make it 3-1.

[attackgerbil]

The 3-1 is fouled off to make it full. Payoff: chopped on the ground up third. Reset.

[attackgerbil]

Full count, loaded, one away. Inside, Ellsbury walks home.

[attackgerbil]

The 2-0 was definitely a strike.

[attackgerbil]

Gotta step out for a minute. Good games, good luck all.

[attackgerbil]

Oof.. Bay takes it to the track with a SF to give Boston a 4-2 lead. okey. now out.

[Devine]

Not bad, not bad.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Well, Ponson was bad but he wasn't awful.

[Hudson]

Gerbs: Fine work, fine work. Seems the offenders are (pretty much) all relatively new teams...

(Meanwhile, the Massachusett-Vermont-New Hampshire-Maine-Rhode Island-and-half-of-Connecticut Red Sox take a 4-2 lead on the Bronx Yankees after Pontoon walks in a run and gives up a sac fly. Girardi with the hook.)

[I'mBillMcNeal]

"greek god of perspiration"

Nice one, AG.

[stuck working]

Was really counting on a GIDP from Jeter there.

[Micah-SF]

Amazingly, Byrd makes it through 5 unscathed. I say he goes back out, but with a short leash.

[attackgerbil]

ESPN flashes the standings for the seventeenth time..

Grandpa: "Dong, where is grandpa's playoff aspiration"

Dong: "As-pir-a-tion??? Lake.. Deep Lake!!"

[Micah-SF]

Edwar Ramirez thanks the ERA Gods for the bottom third of the Sox lineup. God, they're awful.

[attackgerbil]

Marte sighting. Nady falls behind 1-2.. takes away to make it deuces. The 2-2: down swinging. Byrd is throwing Byrdseed.

[attackgerbil]

Matsui takes a ball, then wayyyy in front of the breaking pitch is now 1-1. Byrd misses high. The 2-1: breaking pitch low. 3-1: Matsui was looking fastball and got one, but away off the end of the bat and flies out to left.

[Devine]

6 IP, 2 ER...I'll take it!

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Damn. There's a good mythbusters on tonight. NASA myths. a new one.

[attackgerbil]

Dmaso Marte faces Jacoby Ellsbury and misses on his first cut to go behind 0-1. Takes inside. The 1-1 is also tight. The 2-1 catches the outside corner. Deuces: down looking on the outside corner. Looked a bit away, but good pitch. Dusty up.

[attackgerbil]

Pedroia takes ball one, then pulls the 1-0 foul up third. Same result on the 1-1. In a 1-2 hole: Pedroia takes a bit outside for deuces. The 2-2: fouled back.

[attackgerbil]

Reset deuces: breaking pitch at the ankles but pulled up third.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

So today was the annual Boston-NY media game?

[attackgerbil]

Marte delivers another 2-2: ripped on the pull side into the third base stand. Yet another 2-2: Marte misses to make it full. The payoff: popped straight back.

[attackgerbil]

Another full count: Dusty swings at a diving slider coming in on his ankles.. nice pitch by Marte. Papi to the plate. And I am out for a bit.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

And the Democratic nominee is now officially some guy from Illinois.

[Devine]

Still a way close game...who's in for the 7th?

[Devine]

Delcarmen...

[Micah-SF]

Why does Tito use MDC against the Yankees? Ugh, this is not going to be a fun inning.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Nice K from Lil' manny.
Wait. Do we still have to all him Lil' Manny?

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Nice inning from MDC.

[stuck working]

If he keeps throwing solid innings like that, IBM, we can drop the "Li'l" in a year or so.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Ray 1, Tor 0, top 9.

[Devine]

Don't be a puss, Delcarmen...there are two down and you have a 2-run lead.

There ya go, after the 3-0 count, decides to actually pitch to him and he pops up. 3 up, 3 down. Woo Delcarmen! Thanks for not repeating last night.

This is still so tense.

[Micah-SF]

And I am thankfully proven dead wrong about MDC tonight. More of that, please.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Let me say this AGAIN: I LOVE JASON FUCKING BAY!!!

[walein]

F-ing Abreu and the wall...that was gross.

[ponch - sf]

okay, that was hysterical. That wall is abreu's kryptonite

[walein]

Bill--

That was Abreu's triple more than Jason's. Not saying he isn't a good player but c'mon.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

CRAZY THING IS BOTH THAT ONE AND THE 2-rbi HIT TO nADY VERY EASILY COULD HAVE BEEN CAUGHT. Sorry about the caps.

[Devine]

Tampa Bay wins, Red Sox score and are likely to score again (runner at 3rd, none out). SWEET! Krueg is gonna be pissed at Abreu (some more) it sounds like (bad play near the wall).

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Wal, I was typing mine at the same time. So obviously I agree.

[Hudson]

Jason Bay: He's officially a great pickup in my book...

[Atheose]

Hello gentlemen! Glad to come home to favorable score. F*cking Tampa winning 1-0.

Wow, that was a horrible play by Abreu. How'd that guy get a gold glove?

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Dave Eiland. Somewhere in my clip file is an Iowa Cubs-Columbus Clippers game story, dateline Des Moines, in which Dave Eiland complains to me about not getting recalled back to the Yankees.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Walein, the misplay by Abreau, Manny wouldn't have caught that, either.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Tek walks to lead 'em, Robertson up in the pen.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Weak fly to Damon still works as a sacrifice.

[Hudson]

Cora gets it down with a sac fly, 6-2 Sox.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

RBI single for Covelli. NYY fans now booing A-Rod.

[Atheose]

God bless coco!

[Devine]

Super-awesome.

[Hudson]

And now Crisp makes the lead grand-slam-proof with a single, 7-2. Still have runners on 1st and 2nd, 1 out.

[Hudson]

I keep waiting for the day when a ball is hit to Damon, he tries to throw a runner out, and his arms just fall off his body, like a zombie in Shawn of the Dead.

[Devine]

We have officially cleared the suck portion of the lineup for next inning with Ellsbury up and 1 down.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Ells singles to load 'em for the second time in the inning. Pedro looks to the final nail.

[Hudson]

The bottom of the order did OK last night, no?

[I'mBillMcNeal]

PEDRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(sorry, yfs.)

[SF]

And now Crisp makes the lead grand-slam-proof

But not quite "two three-run homer proof"!

[Devine]

Want to light up a cigarette after that one.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Pedro just made it two-grand-slam proof, though.

[SF]

lucky seven!